The Blowhard-Windmill Scheme: A Sensible Solution to Our Energy Challenges!

It is sad but true the much heralded electricity generating windmills could actually damage the environment.

There are those who are concerned the wind generators could act like giant fans and chop migrating birds into oblivion.

Others believe that building the thousands of windmills needed to generate electricity could change wind patterns and create the next something age.

They are crass enough to suggest the idea of hundreds or thousands of windmills could be an eyesore.

Yet others are so naïve to think that building roads that are required to construct and maintain windmill farms could damage fragile prairies. And still others believe the same could happen when the thousands of miles of power grid are built to link the electricity that is generated from isolated wind farms to densely populated urban areas.

However, there is one sure fire way to harness some of the wind without damaging the environment. It is to capture the wind that is generated from every blowhard politician.

Everyone knows that politicians move a lot of air. In fact this phenomenal was first observed by a Chicago writer in the 19^th century who coined the phrase “Windy City” when he noted “that all the politicians talking was like a big wind blowing through the Chicago.”

It is estimated by people who know about such stuff that if all the wind were captured from blow hard politicians the United States could generate enough electricity to power the planet!

Think of that! Think of all the good that would happen. What a wonderful planet it would become if finally all the energy of blowhard politicians were harnessed in a productive and beneficial manner. There would be an end to:

· Devising new ways to tax the population

· Making campaign promises that are left unfulfilled

· Other damage to the economy and the nation created by blowhard politicians.

The most difficult part of the Blow-hard Windmill Scheme will be to somehow get the members of congress to vote on the issue. It is suggested one way to do this is to load the bill with pork so that each politician believes his constituency will get something if he/she votes for the bill.

The probability of pork working is very high as everyone knows pork is to politicians as honey is to bees. They can’t resist it.

Once the bill is passed the next challenge will be to round up the blow hard politicians and decide where each one will be placed in his/her constituency in order to do the most good.

When that is decided, then the politicians will be placed on giant soap boxes facing fans. In order to channel their hot air, the politicians will be provided megaphones and be given the signal to do what they do best, generate hot air.

Some people are concerned that if no one gathers to listen to the politicians they will not continue to blow hard and generate electricity. I think this is a false fear. Research has shown that for generations politicians have spoken at gatherings such as political conventions to crowds who don’t listen and are busy talking to each other. As far as anyone knows this has never squelched the zeal of a blowhard politician from expelling enough hot air to fill countless hot air ballons.

Finally, The benefits of the Blowhard –Windmill scheme are:

1. Politicians are finally given something constructive to do.

2. We save the planet.

3. Cheap and abundant non-polluting energy is made available.